why am i so slow (tonytryhard)

A long time ago, I was in Burma, my friends and I were working for the local government. They were trying to buy the loyalty of tribal leaders by bribing them with precious stones. But their caravans were being raided in a forest north of Rangoon by a bandit. So we went looking for the stones. But in six months, we never found anyone who traded with him. Then, one day I saw a child playing with a ruby the size of a tangerine. The bandit had been throwing them away.