Is there a self? (deckard_4)

God, we have not spoken this long or as often as we should. I've often been about other business. If I wanted forgiveness I should ask for it, but for all that I have done and for all that I am yet to do, there can be no forgiveness. And yet I think I'm not an evil man. Evil men pray louder, seek penance, and stick themselves closer to Heaven than I am. I shall not see its gates Lord. Nor hear your sweet words of salvation. I have seen eternity, I swear. But it was in dream and in the morning all was gone. I know myself for what I am. And I throw my poor soul upon your forgiveness, in the full knowledge that I deserve none at your loving hands.