Below you will find a set of texts used on TypeRacer. Certain texts only appear on certain difficulties.
| Rank |
ID |
Text |
Length |
Races |
Difficulty Rating |
Top Score |
Top 100 |
Average |
Active Since |
| 1. |
#4070203 |
Rest assured that I was on the internet within minutes registering my disgust throughout the world. |
99 |
12 |
1.536 |
71.86 — im Gxcci (oofsten) |
41.65 |
41.65 |
February 5, 2021 |
| 2. |
#3810478 |
Look, there's only one thing worse than being a loser. It's being one of those guys that sits in a bar, telling the story of how he became a loser, and I never want that to happen to me. |
186 |
37 |
1.163 |
154.02 — police (styrofoam) |
78.75 |
78.75 |
January 30, 2021 |
| 3. |
#3810487 |
Oh... and how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home wine-making course and I forgot how to drive? |
222 |
31 |
1.142 |
144.84 — police (styrofoam) |
83.78 |
83.78 |
January 30, 2021 |
| 4. |
#3810494 |
The only problem with the treatment was that it worked too well. You became unable to express any anger at all. From that point on, any time you felt angry, you could only respond with a string of nonsensical jabbering. |
219 |
31 |
1.119 |
144.32 — You're procrastinating agai... |
75.80 |
75.80 |
January 30, 2021 |
| 5. |
#3810476 |
I cheated on the intelligence test, I'm sorry! But I just want to say that the past few weeks have been great. Me and you have done stuff together, you've helped me out with things, and we're closer than we've ever been. I love you, Dad, and I think if something can bring us that close, it can't possibly be bad. |
313 |
28 |
1.084 |
158.37 — police (styrofoam) |
73.75 |
73.75 |
January 30, 2021 |
| 6. |
#3810497 |
I'm saying you're what's wrong with America, Simpson. You coast through life, you do as little as possible and you leach your decent hardworking people like me. |
160 |
16 |
1.082 |
94.79 — Aimee (type1didibeatyou) |
52.35 |
52.35 |
January 31, 2021 |
| 7. |
#3810491 |
Oh, and one more thing; I've stolen a nuclear weapon. And if you do not rid this city of television in two hours, I will detonate it. Farewell. By the way, I'm well aware of the irony of appearing on TV in order to decry it, so don't bother pointing that out. |
259 |
24 |
1.078 |
123.68 — police (styrofoam) |
79.13 |
79.13 |
January 30, 2021 |
| 8. |
#3810486 |
We've come up with a camera so tiny it fits into this oversized novelty hat. Now, go get us some incriminating footage. And remember: you have to get in and out for 10 minutes, or you suffer permanent neck damage. |
213 |
25 |
1.076 |
136.15 — You're procrastinating agai... |
72.27 |
72.27 |
February 1, 2021 |
| 9. |
#4070202 |
It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day. |
118 |
21 |
1.069 |
139.93 — Jacob (vanosgaming2014) |
57.93 |
57.93 |
January 29, 2021 |
| 10. |
#3810481 |
I been slumping all season but now I found a reason. I struck on a love that is true. I used to play the field, I used to be a roamer, but the season's turning 'round for me now. I finally bagged me a homer. That's right, I finally bagged me a Homer. |
250 |
32 |
1.068 |
132.25 — police (styrofoam) |
73.83 |
73.83 |
January 29, 2021 |
| 11. |
#3810503 |
One thing is for certain, there is no stopping them; the ants will soon be here. And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. |
130 |
16 |
1.064 |
141.07 — (ginoo75) |
69.96 |
69.96 |
January 27, 2021 |
| 12. |
#3810492 |
Yes, the Simpsons have come a long way since an old drunk made humans out of his rabbit characters to pay off his gambling debts. Who knows what adventures they'll have between now and the time the show becomes unprofitable? |
224 |
30 |
1.052 |
156.78 — police (styrofoam) |
74.03 |
74.03 |
January 29, 2021 |
| 13. |
#3810490 |
Hello, Springfield. Sorry to divert your attention from all the big noises and shiny things. But something's been troubling me lately: television! Wouldn't our lives be so much richer if television were done away with? |
218 |
38 |
1.043 |
120.81 — beachturkey (beachtukrey) |
71.53 |
71.53 |
January 29, 2021 |
| 14. |
#3810500 |
All right. This town must be hot. They don't need a large ad or even correct spelling! Get me two tickets for whatever state Springfield is in! |
143 |
36 |
1.037 |
100.92 — Grizzly (growling_grizzly) |
58.43 |
58.43 |
January 30, 2021 |
| 15. |
#3810484 |
On the 11:00 news tonight, a certain kind of soft drink has been found to be lethal. We won't tell you which one until after sports and the weather with Funny Sonny Storm. |
171 |
11 |
1.035 |
85.98 — Marcel (heel_darewolf) |
58.97 |
58.97 |
January 30, 2021 |
| 16. |
#3810498 |
You can't treat the working man this way! One of these days we'll form a union, and get the fair and equitable treatment we deserve! Then we'll go too far, and become corrupt and shiftless, and the Japanese will eat us alive! |
225 |
22 |
1.030 |
142.18 — police (styrofoam) |
65.95 |
65.95 |
January 29, 2021 |
| 17. |
#3810489 |
Mom, I know your intentions are good but aren't the police the protective force that maintains the status quo for the wealthy elite? Don't you think we ought to attack the roots of social problems instead of jamming people into overcrowded prisons? |
248 |
26 |
1.028 |
139.40 — police (styrofoam) |
71.79 |
71.79 |
January 30, 2021 |
| 18. |
#4060197 |
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. |
117 |
25 |
1.006 |
102.41 — Binarus (binarus) |
57.79 |
57.79 |
January 30, 2021 |
| 19. |
#3810501 |
He'll tell you that in nature one creature invariably eats another to survive. Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about! |
177 |
23 |
1.003 |
89.50 — floki3033 (floki3033) |
50.36 |
50.36 |
January 29, 2021 |
| 20. |
#3810480 |
Quit complaining! This way I don't have to waste money on morphine! Well Smithers, you were right, he was not dead. I guess I owe you a Coke after all. And as for you, you clinking, clattering cacophony of collagenous cogs and camshifts, take that! |
248 |
28 |
0.994 |
112.22 — beachturkey (beachtukrey) |
62.00 |
62.00 |
January 29, 2021 |
| 21. |
#3810496 |
I'm interested in upgrading my 28.8 kilobaud internet connection to a 1.5 megabit fiber optic T1 line. Will you be able to provide an IP router that's compatible with my token ring ethernet LAN configuration? |
208 |
22 |
0.986 |
116.09 — You're procrastinating agai... |
58.95 |
58.95 |
January 29, 2021 |
| 22. |
#3810488 |
Come on, Marge, I want to shake off the dust of this one-horse town. I want to explore the world. I want to watch TV in a different time zone. I want to visit strange, exotic malls. I'm sick of eating hoagies. I want a grinder, a sub, a foot-long hero. I want to live, Marge! Won't you let me live? Won't you, please? |
317 |
14 |
0.979 |
126.11 — You're procrastinating agai... |
70.99 |
70.99 |
January 30, 2021 |
| 23. |
#3622343 |
Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice and, um... Oh, wait a minute. Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good and you'd step over your own mother just to get one! |
256 |
28 |
0.979 |
113.66 — You're procrastinating agai... |
65.13 |
65.13 |
January 29, 2021 |
| 24. |
#3810477 |
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, contrary to what you've just seen, war is neither glamorous nor fun. There are no winners, only losers. There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: The American Revolution, World War II, and the Star Wars trilogy. If you'd like to learn more about war, there's lots of books in your local library, many of them with cool, gory pictures. Well, good night, everybody! Peace, man. |
426 |
14 |
0.972 |
130.50 — police (styrofoam) |
90.28 |
90.28 |
January 30, 2021 |
| 25. |
#3810495 |
Hello. I'm Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is no. Now our story begins on a Friday morning in a little town called Springfield... |
287 |
20 |
0.971 |
119.52 — You're procrastinating agai... |
65.39 |
65.39 |
February 5, 2021 |
| 26. |
#3810483 |
You're right, Mom. I shouldn't let this bother me. I'm in television now. It's my job to be repetitive. My job. My job. Repetitiveness is my job. I'm gonna go out there and give the best performance of my life! |
210 |
24 |
0.971 |
123.32 — You're procrastinating agai... |
75.06 |
75.06 |
January 30, 2021 |
| 27. |
#3810502 |
You're in big trouble, Burns. Homer Simpson's job requires college training in nuclear physics. Now you get your man up to speed, or we'll be forced to take legal action. |
170 |
17 |
0.946 |
80.88 — Billy (ciean) |
56.89 |
56.89 |
January 31, 2021 |
| 28. |
#3810482 |
I've sold monorails to Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook, and by gum, it put them on the map. Well sir, there's nothing on Earth like a genuine, bona fide, electrified six-car monorail. What'd I say? |
208 |
17 |
0.921 |
102.34 — You're procrastinating agai... |
72.33 |
72.33 |
January 29, 2021 |
| 29. |
#3810479 |
Balderdash! Why, I once watched "Gentleman" Jim Corbett fight an Eskimo fellow bare-knuckled for a hundred and thirteen rounds! Of course, back then, if a fight lasted less than fifty rounds, we demanded our nickel back! |
220 |
21 |
0.903 |
87.37 — You're procrastinating agai... |
54.68 |
54.68 |
January 30, 2021 |
| 30. |
#3810485 |
Good evening, here's an update on last week's nursing home expose, "Geezers in Freezers" - it turns out the rest home was adequately heated; the footage you saw was of a fur-storage facility. We've also been told to apologize for using the term "geezers". Now, coming up next, "The Case of the Cantankerous Old Geezer." |
319 |
16 |
0.899 |
90.42 — beachturkey (beachtukrey) |
67.80 |
67.80 |
January 30, 2021 |
| 31. |
#3810493 |
Okay, maybe my dad did steal Itchy. But so what? Animation is built on plagiarism. If it weren't for someone plagiarizing The Honeymooners we wouldn't have The Flintstones. If someone hadn't ripped off Sergeant Bilko, there'd be no Top Cat. Huckleberry Hound, Chief Wiggum, Yogi Bear, hah! Andy Griffith, Edward G. Robinson, Art Carney. Your Honor, you take away our right to steal ideas, where are they gonna come from? Her? |
425 |
12 |
0.829 |
101.41 — Jacob (vanosgaming2014) |
75.32 |
75.32 |
January 30, 2021 |
| 32. |
#3810499 |
My turn. Kwyjibo. K-W-Y-J-I-B-O, 22 points, plus triple word score, plus 50 points for using all my letters. Game's over, I'm outta here. |
137 |
12 |
0.823 |
78.54 — Jason (jasonfherring) |
46.06 |
46.06 |
January 29, 2021 |
| 33. |
#3640509 |
Whoo-hoo! I'm a college man! I won't need my high school diploma anymore! I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T... I mean, S-M-A-R-T! |
133 |
25 |
0.703 |
106.64 — police (styrofoam) |
43.28 |
43.28 |
January 30, 2021 |
| 34. |
#4070480 |
No sports, no rock, no information. For mindless chatter, we're your station! |
77 |
2 |
0.000 |
23.42 — Emil (aol_emil) |
21.95 |
21.95 |
February 8, 2021 |
| 35. |
#4070092 |
Lisa, get in here! In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics! |
69 |
2 |
0.000 |
28.85 — Navoditya (azzn50) |
26.77 |
26.77 |
February 12, 2021 |
| 36. |
#4070204 |
It's just a little airborne! It's still good, it's still good! |
62 |
1 |
0.000 |
26.20 — chhunly (chhynlypet) |
26.20 |
26.20 |
February 21, 2021 |