Below you will find a set of texts used on TypeRacer. Certain texts only appear on certain difficulties.
| Rank |
ID |
Text |
Length |
Races |
Difficulty Rating |
Top Score |
Top 100 |
Average |
Active Since |
| 1. |
#4620011 |
People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. |
122 |
31 |
1.124 |
162.87 — police (styrofoam) |
77.50 |
77.50 |
December 13, 2020 |
| 2. |
#4620020 |
I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything. |
179 |
29 |
1.122 |
175.78 — police (styrofoam) |
79.99 |
79.99 |
December 13, 2020 |
| 3. |
#4620016 |
It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. |
112 |
39 |
1.109 |
161.42 — police (styrofoam) |
69.33 |
69.33 |
December 13, 2020 |
| 4. |
#4620018 |
If I want a long boring story with no point to it, I have my life. |
66 |
42 |
1.094 |
157.74 — police (styrofoam) |
81.05 |
81.05 |
December 13, 2020 |
| 5. |
#4620025 |
Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making poop, the other one's carrying it for them, who would you assume is in charge? |
162 |
39 |
1.089 |
139.36 — police (styrofoam) |
75.66 |
75.66 |
December 13, 2020 |
| 6. |
#4620010 |
It's been so long since I made love I can't even remember who gets tied up. |
75 |
36 |
1.062 |
152.84 — (zak389) |
77.25 |
77.25 |
December 13, 2020 |
| 7. |
#4620027 |
Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke, and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome. |
156 |
32 |
1.051 |
157.15 — police (styrofoam) |
70.00 |
70.00 |
December 13, 2020 |
| 8. |
#4620009 |
I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. |
111 |
37 |
1.042 |
150.83 — police (styrofoam) |
74.03 |
74.03 |
December 13, 2020 |
| 9. |
#4620008 |
A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp. |
107 |
34 |
1.035 |
156.43 — police (styrofoam) |
71.32 |
71.32 |
December 13, 2020 |
| 10. |
#4620000 |
Seriously, any other town you go to there's this little devil and a little angel on your shoulder. A little good advice, a little bad advice.You go to Las Vegas, there's like a devil and a devil and they're just battling it out the whole time. |
243 |
18 |
1.032 |
143.94 — police (styrofoam) |
85.61 |
85.61 |
December 14, 2020 |
| 11. |
#4620003 |
I used to always work in, like, warehouses, because if my boss gave me a rough time, I could just get on a forklift and just, like, drive away from him. |
152 |
36 |
1.030 |
155.67 — police (styrofoam) |
74.96 |
74.96 |
December 13, 2020 |
| 12. |
#4620024 |
A bookstore is one of the only pieces of physical evidence we have that people are still thinking. |
98 |
32 |
1.023 |
155.10 — police (styrofoam) |
75.18 |
75.18 |
December 13, 2020 |
| 13. |
#4620005 |
A good story is always you doing something wrong, you know? That's why nice people are so damn boring. I mean, they're nice, but their stories suck. |
148 |
28 |
1.022 |
162.49 — police (styrofoam) |
86.91 |
86.91 |
December 13, 2020 |
| 14. |
#4620026 |
According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means that to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy. |
254 |
34 |
1.022 |
158.84 — police (styrofoam) |
79.86 |
79.86 |
December 13, 2020 |
| 15. |
#4620017 |
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success? |
55 |
43 |
1.015 |
173.41 — Shanon (shadowyshadows) |
70.11 |
70.11 |
December 13, 2020 |
| 16. |
#4620015 |
Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate important occasions, they're killing living creatures? |
106 |
28 |
1.014 |
165.47 — police (styrofoam) |
64.31 |
64.31 |
December 13, 2020 |
| 17. |
#4620023 |
Sometimes the road less travelled is less travelled for a reason. |
65 |
38 |
1.011 |
129.29 — police (styrofoam) |
70.22 |
70.22 |
December 13, 2020 |
| 18. |
#4620021 |
The only difference between a date and a job interview is: not at many job interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end of it. |
141 |
35 |
1.011 |
151.63 — police (styrofoam) |
63.92 |
63.92 |
December 13, 2020 |
| 19. |
#4620006 |
I'll tell you why - because, in the unlikely event that we're both on the Titanic and it starts to sink, for some reason, you get to leave with the kids and I have to stay - that's why I get the dollar more an hour. |
215 |
28 |
0.997 |
145.90 — police (styrofoam) |
78.65 |
78.65 |
December 13, 2020 |
| 20. |
#4620019 |
You know what the message you're sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You're telling the world, "I give up. I can't compete in normal society. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable." |
204 |
31 |
0.986 |
161.99 — police (styrofoam) |
67.27 |
67.27 |
December 13, 2020 |
| 21. |
#4620013 |
It's obvious that women are smarter than men. Think about it - diamonds are a girl's best friend; man's best friend is a dog. |
125 |
20 |
0.981 |
143.31 — police (styrofoam) |
72.19 |
72.19 |
December 13, 2020 |
| 22. |
#4620004 |
There's no 'brothers' when it comes to white people. We are just complete individuals. We don't care about each other. He's not my brother; my brother lives in Ohio - I don't know that guy |
188 |
27 |
0.976 |
159.01 — police (styrofoam) |
69.14 |
69.14 |
December 13, 2020 |
| 23. |
#4620022 |
Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door. |
175 |
32 |
0.974 |
130.91 — police (styrofoam) |
69.07 |
69.07 |
December 13, 2020 |
| 24. |
#4620001 |
You know what a cubicle basically says? It basically says, like, 'You know what? We don't think you're smart enough for an office, but we don't want you to look at anybody.' |
173 |
22 |
0.966 |
146.89 — police (styrofoam) |
60.80 |
60.80 |
December 13, 2020 |
| 25. |
#4620028 |
I don't want to hear the specials. If they're so special, put 'em on the menu. |
78 |
35 |
0.955 |
142.04 — (zak389) |
67.88 |
67.88 |
December 13, 2020 |
| 26. |
#4620012 |
I knew I was an unwanted child when my bath toys were a toaster and a radio. |
76 |
32 |
0.949 |
133.47 — police (styrofoam) |
65.13 |
65.13 |
December 13, 2020 |
| 27. |
#4620002 |
Rednecks are like America's pit bulls. They should just sedate those people, drop 'em off in Afghanistan, just let them run wild. |
129 |
30 |
0.928 |
140.83 — police (styrofoam) |
60.67 |
60.67 |
December 13, 2020 |
| 28. |
#4620007 |
I am so pro-swine flu - I want it. We need a plague. It's got to happen; don't be afraid. It's only going to kill the weak. |
123 |
24 |
0.927 |
135.04 — police (styrofoam) |
62.06 |
62.06 |
December 13, 2020 |
| 29. |
#4620014 |
Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate important occasions, they're killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? 'Sweetheart, let's make up. Have this decesaed squirrel.' |
191 |
29 |
0.900 |
130.80 — police (styrofoam) |
61.44 |
61.44 |
December 13, 2020 |