| ID |
Text |
Length |
Races |
Difficulty Rating |
| 4590000 |
What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus. |
82 |
1,416 |
0.9997 |
| 4590001 |
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There's no menu: You get what you de... |
86 |
1,474 |
0.9679 |
| 4590002 |
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just going... |
97 |
1,501 |
1.0670 |
| 4590003 |
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space. |
79 |
1,372 |
0.9816 |
| 4590004 |
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything. |
66 |
1,514 |
0.9893 |
| 4590005 |
How do you drown a hipster? Throw him in the mainstream. |
56 |
1,622 |
0.9934 |
| 4590006 |
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches? A nervous wreck. |
65 |
1,614 |
0.9864 |
| 4590007 |
Why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? They always take things literally. |
79 |
1,090 |
0.9556 |
| 4590008 |
A man tells his doctor, "Doc, help me. I'm addicted to Twitter!" The doctor repl... |
115 |
1,057 |
0.8715 |
| 4590009 |
Why don't Calculus majors throw house parties? Because you should never drink an... |
89 |
1,302 |
0.9825 |
| 4590010 |
What's the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has claws at the end of p... |
127 |
1,134 |
1.0530 |
| 4590011 |
What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present? Thanks! I'l... |
101 |
1,409 |
0.9693 |
| 4590012 |
What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells. |
81 |
1,376 |
1.1084 |
| 4590013 |
What did one hat say to the other? You wait here. I'll go on a head. |
68 |
1,750 |
1.0628 |
| 4590014 |
What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny. |
77 |
1,651 |
1.0607 |
| 4590015 |
Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank the coffee before it was cool. |
75 |
1,147 |
1.0280 |
| 4590016 |
And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life." But... |
116 |
1,105 |
0.9192 |
| 4590017 |
My wife accused me of being immature. I told her to get out of my fort. |
71 |
1,771 |
1.1237 |
| 4590020 |
Someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how I feel about that. |
63 |
1,285 |
1.0848 |
| 4590021 |
My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the zoo. |
69 |
88 |
1.0710 |
| 4590022 |
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they cal... |
99 |
1,263 |
1.1052 |
| 4590023 |
You're not completely useless. You can always serve as a bad example. |
69 |
73 |
0.9628 |
| 4590024 |
I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I'm okay. |
57 |
1,278 |
1.0329 |
| 4590025 |
Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor bastard. |
74 |
1,097 |
0.9534 |
| 4590026 |
Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. That way, w... |
155 |
1,198 |
1.0285 |
| 4590027 |
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, and the ... |
106 |
1,122 |
1.0388 |
| 4590028 |
What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? Same middle name. |
81 |
1,123 |
1.0003 |
| 4590029 |
What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the doo... |
96 |
403 |
0.9620 |
| 4590030 |
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming in t... |
117 |
1,308 |
1.0977 |
| 4590031 |
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it. |
56 |
1,273 |
1.0756 |
| 4590032 |
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. |
64 |
75 |
1.1535 |
| 4590033 |
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, "What's your favorite kind ... |
129 |
953 |
0.9009 |
| 4590034 |
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now. |
81 |
523 |
1.0548 |
| 4590035 |
Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today? I don't know and do... |
96 |
416 |
0.9800 |
| 4590036 |
How do you tell if a vampire is sick? By how much he is coffin. |
63 |
1,467 |
1.0406 |
| 4590037 |
Almost 6 million Americans currently are not working, and that number skyrockets... |
138 |
1,249 |
1.0858 |
| 4590038 |
How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb? It depends on what kind of... |
110 |
1,319 |
1.0933 |
| 4590039 |
How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb? It depends on what kind of... |
110 |
1,133 |
1.0814 |
| 4590041 |
This morning my boss told me to "Have a great day!" So, I punched him in the fac... |
96 |
1,183 |
0.9899 |
| 4590042 |
Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother? Mom, my name is Paul. |
59 |
1,226 |
0.9439 |
| 4590043 |
Yesterday I learnt that 20 piranhas can strip all flesh off a man within 15 minu... |
146 |
1,002 |
0.9714 |
| 4590044 |
I received another letter from some lawyer yesterday. It had "Final Notice" writ... |
142 |
960 |
0.9609 |
| 4590045 |
I heard a report about a bad outbreak of the tummy bug, apparently 9 out of 10 p... |
188 |
1,026 |
1.0233 |
| 4590046 |
I managed to lose my rifle when I was in the army. I had to pay $855 to cover th... |
165 |
978 |
0.9725 |
| 4590047 |
Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be... |
122 |
1,204 |
1.0741 |
| 4590048 |
Oh darling, since you've started dieting, you've become such a passionate kisser... |
143 |
1,047 |
0.9926 |
| 4590049 |
Me and my wife, we've decided that we don't want to have children. So anybody wh... |
162 |
1,154 |
1.0908 |
| 4590050 |
I was making Russian tea. Unfortunately I cannot fish the teabag out of the vodk... |
89 |
1,249 |
1.0103 |
| 4590051 |
So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we're having a baby. For instanc... |
120 |
1,167 |
1.0283 |
| 4590053 |
A son asks his mother: Mom, the kids are laughing at me, they say my teeth are t... |
158 |
1,008 |
0.9792 |
| 4590054 |
I'm certain there are female hormones in beer. When I drink too much, I talk non... |
114 |
1,176 |
1.0453 |
| 4590055 |
A man noticed his credit card has been stolen - but he never reported it because... |
142 |
1,124 |
1.0738 |
| 4590056 |
My girlfriend says that I am snoopy. But OK, maybe she meant it differently when... |
107 |
1,046 |
0.9873 |
| 4590057 |
Is Google a he or a she? A she, no doubt, because it won't let you finish your s... |
119 |
1,206 |
1.0318 |
| 4590058 |
An optimist sees light at the end of a tunnel and thinks it's an exit. A pessimi... |
223 |
939 |
1.0457 |
| 4590059 |
Today I found my first grey pubic hair. I got really excited, but not as much as... |
110 |
1,159 |
1.0530 |
| 4590060 |
Andy has 150 candy bars. He eats 125. What does Andy have now? Andy has diabetes... |
85 |
1,105 |
0.8967 |
| 4590062 |
Don't be sad when a bird craps on your head. Be happy that dogs can't fly. |
74 |
1,415 |
1.0626 |
| 4590063 |
I got my girlfriend a "Get better soon" card. She's not ill or anything, but she... |
109 |
1,013 |
0.9796 |
| 4590064 |
One shop owner asks another, "So, have you had any reactions yet to your ad that... |
144 |
1,002 |
0.9845 |
| 4590065 |
I was brought up in the wild by a pack of hyenas. Times were hard, food was scar... |
113 |
680 |
1.0524 |
| 4590066 |
I go to the store and buy 4 bags of chips and 6 sodas, if I eat 3 bags of chips ... |
131 |
619 |
0.9413 |
| 4590067 |
To be or not to be a horse rider, that is equestrian. |
53 |
882 |
1.0314 |
| 4590068 |
What do you call an animal you keep in your car? A carpet. |
58 |
12 |
1.2952 |
| 4590069 |
Why did the crab never share? Because he's shellfish. |
53 |
804 |
1.0169 |
| 4590070 |
What did the dolphin say after he accidentally swam into another sea creature? I... |
106 |
693 |
1.0187 |
| 4590071 |
Two ships collided. One was carrying a load of red paint, the other a load of bl... |
123 |
656 |
1.0527 |
| 4590072 |
Someone stole the wheels off of all the police cars! The cops are working on it ... |
91 |
817 |
1.0608 |
| 4590073 |
Did you hear about the young actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just... |
103 |
692 |
1.0685 |
| 4590074 |
How does the solar system organize a party They planet! |
55 |
811 |
0.9998 |
| 4590075 |
Did you hear about the two peanuts walking through town? One was a salted! |
74 |
769 |
1.0142 |
| 4590076 |
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum? A meltdown! |
66 |
803 |
1.0181 |
| 4590077 |
I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail, but apparently yo... |
122 |
683 |
1.0778 |
| 4590078 |
Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instrume... |
119 |
695 |
1.0337 |
| 4590079 |
I remember how embarrassed I was when I couldn't pay my electric bill. It was th... |
105 |
710 |
1.0229 |
| 4590080 |
Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That's just how I roll. |
81 |
919 |
1.0501 |
| 4590081 |
I quit my job at the helium factory today. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone... |
90 |
779 |
1.0439 |
| 4590082 |
What's an astronaut's favorite key on a keyboard? The space bar. |
64 |
703 |
0.9223 |
| 4590083 |
I went to see the Liberty Bell recently. I don't know why everyone makes such a ... |
134 |
655 |
1.0595 |
| 4590084 |
A burglar stole all the lamps in my house. I know I should be more upset, but I'... |
103 |
734 |
1.0231 |
| 4590085 |
Rick Astley will let you borrow most of his Pixar movies, but he's never gonna g... |
91 |
712 |
0.9945 |
| 4590086 |
What's the difference between a shamrock and a bread knife that gets used a lot?... |
154 |
649 |
1.0209 |
| 4590087 |
What did the hot dog say when his friend passed him in the race? Wow, I relish t... |
138 |
714 |
1.0476 |
| 4590089 |
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested. I hear they're gonna give h... |
107 |
638 |
1.0040 |
| 4590090 |
Did you hear about the semi-colon that broke the law? He was given two consecuti... |
93 |
647 |
1.0331 |
| 4590091 |
I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from, then it dawned ... |
86 |
804 |
1.1460 |
| 4590092 |
How did the turkey win the talent show? With his drum-sticks. |
61 |
733 |
1.0120 |
| 4590093 |
What did the dog say to his doctor? Be careful with the thermometer, last time i... |
97 |
701 |
1.0425 |
| 4590094 |
My buddy said he threw a stick five miles and his dog managed to find it and bro... |
121 |
676 |
1.0966 |
| 4590095 |
What happens when an artist has trouble finding inspiration? She draws a blank. |
79 |
809 |
1.0113 |
| 4590096 |
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. |
76 |
707 |
1.0052 |
| 4590097 |
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. They told me I wasn't putt... |
101 |
721 |
1.0436 |
| 4590098 |
What do visitors to the International Space Station have to do before boarding? ... |
103 |
711 |
1.0129 |
| 4590099 |
I knew a mathematician who couldn't afford lunch. He could binomial. |
68 |
749 |
0.9711 |