ID |
Text |
Length |
Races |
Difficulty Rating |
4590000 |
What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus. |
82 |
1,564 |
0.9979 |
4590002 |
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just going... |
97 |
1,665 |
1.0698 |
4590007 |
Why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? They always take things literally. |
79 |
1,220 |
0.9604 |
4590008 |
A man tells his doctor, "Doc, help me. I'm addicted to Twitter!" The doctor repl... |
115 |
1,172 |
0.8683 |
4590009 |
Why don't Calculus majors throw house parties? Because you should never drink an... |
89 |
1,443 |
0.9830 |
4590010 |
What's the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has claws at the end of p... |
127 |
1,256 |
1.0509 |
4590011 |
What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present? Thanks! I'l... |
101 |
1,540 |
0.9746 |
4590020 |
Someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how I feel about that. |
63 |
1,429 |
1.0815 |
4590021 |
My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the zoo. |
69 |
96 |
1.0579 |
4590022 |
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they cal... |
99 |
1,419 |
1.1026 |
4590023 |
You're not completely useless. You can always serve as a bad example. |
69 |
79 |
0.9591 |
4590025 |
Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor bastard. |
74 |
1,217 |
0.9526 |
4590027 |
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, and the ... |
106 |
1,234 |
1.0399 |
4590028 |
What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? Same middle name. |
81 |
1,249 |
0.9989 |
4590029 |
What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the doo... |
96 |
461 |
0.9636 |
4590030 |
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming in t... |
117 |
1,451 |
1.0955 |
4590031 |
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it. |
56 |
1,427 |
1.0722 |
4590032 |
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. |
64 |
92 |
1.1190 |
4590039 |
How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb? It depends on what kind of... |
110 |
1,277 |
1.0772 |
4590040 |
My son Luke adores that we named him after Star Wars characters. His brother Jab... |
121 |
1,328 |
0.9912 |
4590041 |
This morning my boss told me to "Have a great day!" So, I punched him in the fac... |
96 |
1,326 |
0.9904 |
4590043 |
Yesterday I learnt that 20 piranhas can strip all flesh off a man within 15 minu... |
146 |
1,111 |
0.9713 |
4590046 |
I managed to lose my rifle when I was in the army. I had to pay $855 to cover th... |
165 |
1,109 |
0.9768 |
4590050 |
I was making Russian tea. Unfortunately I cannot fish the teabag out of the vodk... |
89 |
1,384 |
1.0063 |
4590051 |
So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we're having a baby. For instanc... |
120 |
1,299 |
1.0311 |
4590052 |
A woman in a bikini reveals about 90% of her body.... and yet most men are so po... |
121 |
1,096 |
0.9960 |
4590053 |
A son asks his mother: Mom, the kids are laughing at me, they say my teeth are t... |
158 |
1,130 |
0.9827 |
4590055 |
A man noticed his credit card has been stolen - but he never reported it because... |
142 |
1,261 |
1.0698 |
4590056 |
My girlfriend says that I am snoopy. But OK, maybe she meant it differently when... |
107 |
1,155 |
0.9859 |
4590058 |
An optimist sees light at the end of a tunnel and thinks it's an exit. A pessimi... |
223 |
1,038 |
1.0476 |
4590059 |
Today I found my first grey pubic hair. I got really excited, but not as much as... |
110 |
1,282 |
1.0507 |
4590060 |
Andy has 150 candy bars. He eats 125. What does Andy have now? Andy has diabetes... |
85 |
1,214 |
0.8957 |
4590061 |
What are you looking at when you see two homeless dudes hitting each other with ... |
114 |
1,395 |
1.0735 |
4590063 |
I got my girlfriend a "Get better soon" card. She's not ill or anything, but she... |
109 |
1,128 |
0.9799 |
4590066 |
I go to the store and buy 4 bags of chips and 6 sodas, if I eat 3 bags of chips ... |
131 |
714 |
0.9435 |
4590067 |
To be or not to be a horse rider, that is equestrian. |
53 |
1,027 |
1.0271 |
4590068 |
What do you call an animal you keep in your car? A carpet. |
58 |
14 |
1.2825 |
4590070 |
What did the dolphin say after he accidentally swam into another sea creature? I... |
106 |
800 |
1.0160 |
4590071 |
Two ships collided. One was carrying a load of red paint, the other a load of bl... |
123 |
771 |
1.0551 |
4590072 |
Someone stole the wheels off of all the police cars! The cops are working on it ... |
91 |
964 |
1.0616 |
4590074 |
How does the solar system organize a party They planet! |
55 |
938 |
0.9977 |
4590075 |
Did you hear about the two peanuts walking through town? One was a salted! |
74 |
897 |
1.0175 |
4590076 |
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum? A meltdown! |
66 |
933 |
1.0183 |
4590077 |
I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail, but apparently yo... |
122 |
802 |
1.0745 |
4590079 |
I remember how embarrassed I was when I couldn't pay my electric bill. It was th... |
105 |
817 |
1.0210 |
4590080 |
Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That's just how I roll. |
81 |
1,054 |
1.0504 |
4590081 |
I quit my job at the helium factory today. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone... |
90 |
906 |
1.0410 |
4590082 |
What's an astronaut's favorite key on a keyboard? The space bar. |
64 |
809 |
0.9187 |
4590083 |
I went to see the Liberty Bell recently. I don't know why everyone makes such a ... |
134 |
759 |
1.0559 |
4590084 |
A burglar stole all the lamps in my house. I know I should be more upset, but I'... |
103 |
853 |
1.0208 |
4590086 |
What's the difference between a shamrock and a bread knife that gets used a lot?... |
154 |
766 |
1.0142 |
4590087 |
What did the hot dog say when his friend passed him in the race? Wow, I relish t... |
138 |
826 |
1.0478 |
4590090 |
Did you hear about the semi-colon that broke the law? He was given two consecuti... |
93 |
770 |
1.0326 |
4590096 |
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. |
76 |
807 |
0.9981 |
4590097 |
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. They told me I wasn't putt... |
101 |
846 |
1.0431 |
4590098 |
What do visitors to the International Space Station have to do before boarding? ... |
103 |
841 |
1.0123 |